WATCH OUT! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!
I always like simple walkthroughs, so I’m gonna use bullet points.
◦STRING – Get the string from Fatts McGruf (no relation to Scruff). He’s in the area left of the Weaver by the Sphynx.
◦SCYTHE – Next, get the scythe from Toadpad. He’s above the Weaver and looks, well, like a toadpad.
◦TETHERS – Now you’ll need to take a bit of a journey. Go to the room to the right of the Weaver (where Izabel is) and go all the way down. There’s another exit to the left of the waterfall. That room will be a short little jaunt around (past a floating eye – hey, it’s a dream) and that’ll take you into the airship area. You need to go all the way to the end of it (past the waterfalls of lag and the ice cream man) to find Draco, who will tie your string into tethers (without even asking, he just kinda grabs it! How rude…)
◦BALLOONS – Now when you harvest the little bobbing water cactus deals, they’ll turn into balloons. (Well, it made sense to ME…) After you get 13 balloons, go talk to Izabel (she’s in the room to the right of the Weaver). If you already wiped out the water cactus population – don’t worry, they spawn like rabbits.
◦IZABEL HAIR – Izabel will drop a hair (I know what it looks like, but it’s not, ok, so shut up!) and you bring that to Cadmus, who is in the area above the Weaver.
◦CONFIDENCE – Cadmus will give you confidence (the icon is supposed to be a muscular arm, lol), which you can now use to get past the saucy Sphynx (who was way more work than she was worth, btw – she’s the most animated character in the game, and she does absolutely nothing).
◦FIRE GATE KEY – Above the Sphynx (left of the Weaver) there is a Bad Cultist hiding behind the trees who will give you a key to the fire gates down south of the Weaver.
◦FIRE GATE MAZE – I’ll do a picture for the fire gates, since it’d be too hard to explain with text… Just follow the numbers in the picture. Some things need to be done twice. I put X’s over the bits to avoid.
◦EGG – After the maze, walk through the pretty scenery and go to the very bottom. The Sage will give you an Egg after getting all philosophical for a bit.
◦REVEALING EYE – Now you want to go back to the area above the weaver. The last teleporter in the maze will take you back to the beginning, and from there just head up. There’s an area some people had trouble finding above the village. Just keep going left past the very tall building, then go up. Talk to Lazarus and he’ll take the egg and tell you that you can borrow his Revealing Eye. To get to the eye, go to the right of the Weaver (where Izabel was) then go all the way down and to the left. It’s standing on the cliff there, spinning away like floating disembodied eyes do.
◦RING HUNT – Now you can use the eye to find the ring. It’s in 4 pieces (since one would be too easy). The first piece is right below the revealing eye. Next, go down by the airship and the second piece is in a puddle in the pathway (it’s the lowest point in that area). The third piece is on the pathway below the cultists (in the area above the Weaver) where all the tall grass is. And, finally, the fourth piece is on the scenic overlook above the Sphynx.
◦CASH WAD – Getting the last piece will restore the ring (using the magic of video games) and you can give it to Rich Uptight von Wealthson (son of Mr. Moneybags and Lady Luxury), and he’ll give you “a right wad ‘o cash, guvnah!” He’s right below the Sphynx by Fatts.
◦ICE CREAM – Now you can buy some ice cream from the stingy New Yorker parked on a cliff by the airship. (Right of Weaver – go to bottom – go left – go down – go right.)
◦STONE – Bring the ice cream to Martha and then watch the lovely cinematic. They try to drop a rock on your head, but they miss. Luckily, you need it. (Jokes on them!)
◦SWITCH – Head back towards the Sphynx and wade through 100 cinematics on your way. The switch to open the lightning gate is above the Sphynx and to the right.
◦BLUE FIRE PUZZLE – After a few more cinematics past the lighting gate (head left from the Sphynx) you’ll have to solve a puzzle with blue fire. The easy way to solve it is to simply touch each rune once in a circle. If you’ve already triggered some, don’t worry, just keep hitting them. The puzzle gets easier as you play it since a lot of people had trouble with it, so you shouldn’t have to do too much to win. (Yeah, I could have just taken it out, I suppose, but meh…)
Aaaand that’s everything! Just powertap space through the rest of the cinematics and run for your life for a bit to the end. If you guys have any questions, just leave a comment. Feel free to answer other people’s questions, too. I might miss some.